On February 29 2025, President Trump said in a press conference “[Bees] fly all over. They sting you, you get hurt. Some people, very good people, are extremely allergic. They have to take Benadryl, they need Epi-Pens, they die. We can’t afford good Americans dying to tiny, oh so very tiny, petite, and dangerous insects. 72% of all Americans die every year to these flying adversaries. Very dangerous adversaries. We literally cannot see them until they are already on us. We hear the buzzing, but it isn’t our hearing aids, no. These evil infiltrators will be dealt with swiftly.” Then he put his executive order to exterminate all bees in the US.

Law enforcement in Orange County, FL have already taken steps to address this call to action. John Mina, Sheriff of Orange County, stated “We have already prepared our officers with the best gear to defend themselves against these offenders to our great nation. Every officer will have a new, bee-netted uniform while on patrols. Alongside their usual equipment, additional accessories are equipped to deal with these misbehaving scum, such as a Smith & Wesson BB Sidearm 4.5 MM, 2 Black Flag Fog Grenades, a bee taser, and 2 Epi-Pens per vehicle. Please be advised that these terrors are not to be trifled with, and we will deal with them swiftly.”

Local German beekeeper and honey producer out of Winter Garden, Lilly Nektor, was raided by SWAT officials, alongside 2.5 million American bee keepers across the country. When we spoke with Lilly, her disheartening attitude towards the establishment at large left many pondering. “When I voted for Trump,” Miss Nektor exclaimed, “I didn’t realize he was going to do something so irrational. I figured all he was gonna do was deport legal immigrants, bomb Iran, and raise tariffs for the companies to pay. But then he did something that directly affected my business and now I am starting to question my faith in the Chosen One”.

When we asked President Trump regarding the matter of public safety we risk killing all the bees due to their ability to pollinate, Trump said it was “unfortunate” but “too bad”. With the amount of budget Trump has put into this action, it is estimated that all bees in the US would be eliminated by 2058. When we ask J. D. Vance, who had just earned 2.6 million dollars in Raid stock, regarding this executive order, he put out an official statement, declaring “I was not aware of any of these actions” and “I am behind my president every day and I thank the Lord for this opportunity”.

In a series of unbelievable actions, Trump has done something so honey-dipped that people truly believe this is the right thing to do. Local elementary school teacher Mary Drirose states “I had a kid who died of one last week, bless their heart. I always knew that bees were super important, but so are these kids. They are the future. They need to be protected.” Ms. Drirose’s property was also raided by SWAT for beekeeping.

The new suits and armaments for the officers are expected to be on the street by April 1st.