I live in a world that is in a veil between reality and fiction. I’ve met comedians who are rising up in their life. I’ve had success in the entertainment industry and met some people. I get calls all the time from my cousin that he is affiliated with big streamers and big content creators, but somehow he isn’t even in any photos, videos, or no where near them when he talks about them. My brother used to do meth and talk about people talking to him right outside the door, but when you go out, there wouldn’t be a soul. How am I so close and yet so far from the world that I wished for and that I am most afraid of? It seems that I am a sponge that insane people latch onto and project their inner insanity to. And I feel they want me to go insane, too. They want me to collapse, fail, and die so they can laugh at my pathetic misfortune of knowing them and letting it get the best of me. And all the while, I am just trying to live a life, build myself up to be a person worth being around, and pursue a life that borderlines greatness and secrecy. I don’t believe I will achieve it. The veil will consume me and I will become nothing more than someone everyone once knew. Also, I deleted that OF post because it was kinda fucked up for me to put an apology behind a paid wall. Then I realized that I don’t owe anyone shit. I need to grow. I need to become anew. I need to not let these shadows of casual hysteria beat me in a battle to escape the veil. As long as I live, I am winning.